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You are viewing the most recent 25 entries.
5th November 2008
3:15am:
As the green arrow said... YEEEEEE FUGIN HAAAAAWWW!!!! Ever have to take a shit for eight years and then, PLUNK? That's what tonight felt like. Sadly, we don't behead our old Monarchs as did the French in those crazy collage days of revolution,but still we,that is,those of us with enough sense to know it, can finally rest at ease,secure in the thought that at least our new leader is less likely to choke on a pretzel, overlook certain corrupt discrepancies with government finances,or weaken public confidence by selling us out for the sake of the "have mores". Who by the way,are shitting themselves stupid with fear tonight (I've seen it first hand).Thats not a bad thing.They need to feel a bit of the insecurity that so many felt as they lost their homes,jobs,and limbs on behalf of their deepening pockets. Have the tables really turned,not really,but for the short sighted greedy Moloch humpers,who had no problem digging their fat little piggy fingers into the average joe's rice bowl,the ride,if not over,has come to a point where the jeep has stalled and the lions are leering in through the windows. For the rest of us,we'll take comfort in the fact that we've just elected an amazing Diplomat,an intelligent politician and a caring human being who just wants to do right by the people. Here's hoping he dose...cheers.
6th September 2008
3:03am:
The best thing to happen to a christian was a roman lion. I said it first,google it...
12th December 2007
5:12pm:
My niece recently met a woman at a party who was 17 in 1913. Her husband was in the first graduating class at Cranbrook institue in that year. She remembers,doughboys,The Influenza out break,The Halifax explosion and Coca Cola on tap all surup with cocaine. I wish I could have met her I would have hounded her for hours with questions. My niece said her Great granddaughter herded her away because she thought she was boring her. My God, BORING? It's sad to see how younger people think of those who've lived through such an extencive life.
31st October 2007
12:51pm: Happy Ghoulday
unearthly hues Over fields sprawling of unearthly hues on that strange world behind the vale where fungi mill and skulk. Long shadows come crawling darkly flowing like rivers of ink and oil. I have seen that place where color is a nemisis to the eye and no willing man could or would tread. That place where the beings of Leng crawl in desperate silence and fear, where the screamers wail is clutched from the air by some act unseen, and the mad messenger calls to the dwellers of Yuggoth. I have seen all this...and to this day, even my death, holds no power to claw away, the images my shattered mind has beheld there.
30th October 2007
10:51am: why the jj abrams movie is gonna suck...
remember you heard it here first. For those who don't know, jj abrams is some putz from hollywood who's making a film who's real title has yet to be released. So internet slobs have dubbed it Cloverfield, why I have no clue, but buzz on the net is it's another american godzilla flick, nope, as it turns out, you take the blair witch, add a giant elusive monster that they'll hardly show if at all, follow five losers that nobody gives a shit about around the city as they flee said terror,catch the whole thing on video cam and you've got crapofield. Complete with close up of two terrified chick, a publicity photo has been sliding around the web, a close up of two girls crying and everybody thinks theres something hidden in the photo...there aint. In summary, more over blown hollywood hype and a lot of nothing in the end.
29th September 2007
7:05pm: I Have Seen THE FUTURE...( as posted in Morbid Forum Du Jour under Pretend to be a Time Traveler )
In the spirit of this thread I shall, hitherto, traverse the vast scape of time in my Time Device (for purposes of my experiment, my time device is a lawn chair). I'm OFF!! skooching ever forward through time I eagerly await the visions the future holds for me.Horrors, I spill my beer,it is lost to me now, years behind.Mayhaps some lucky dog or teenager shall find the golden puddle and enrich themselves on its intoxicating stew.I hurdle on, skooching ever forward with my feet twards the property line and on to THE SIDEWALK OF THE FUTURE!!! My neighbor calls from the fence, "Whatcha Doin'...", but I warn him off, for if he comes to close, he might be torn asunder by the rapidly stretching fibers of time. He calls me an idiot but his words are left far in the past as I scream forward through time and out into the street.I look behind me to monitor my progress, peering back at my front porch some 25 feet behind me I can only wonder how many centuries have past since my launch. GASP!!! I'm shocked to find that in the future, we have made contact with life from beyond the stars, as a strange vehicle clearly marked "Saturn" comes to a screaching hault inches from my time traveling lawnchair. The hideous balding occupant greets me by shaking his fist wildly.He spews forth a stream of obsinities, I can only asume to be a greeting in his bizzar space language. I watch as he speeds off, the rear of his transpot emblazed with some criptic message about his son being an honor student. I press on hurdling hurdling forward, I creep along the street past mini-marts and other temples of worship built by I can only guess to be some totalitarian race of beings whos need for " Breakfast Burritos" and milk at $1.29 a gallon lead to their ultimate and utter destruction. Then, horror of horros, I see, what in mankinds twisted future, he has become! I see them, five small figures. Mutant men some three feet in height and dripping wet from some ritual dance I've interrupted with the audable screaching of my time travel device along the pavement.Howling and leaping over the carved image of a clowns head that fountianes water from the top of it's hat.Their tribal leader, a large headed creature with tuffted blonde hair and some sort of strange aromor in the fashion of a yellow rubber tube emblazed with a smiling duck's head calls to me "Get PIKACHU", a being I can only guess to be the leader of some enemy mutant tribe. At once I am set apon, forced to abandon my time machine, I flee from these lawn dwelling Morlocks.As I glance behind me, the short pudgey beasts drage away my time machine.Leaving me TRAPPED in the future,a full TWO BLOCKS from my home. I have played your "Time Traveler" game and am now left a victim of my folly. Unable to retrive my lawn chair from the mutant men of this time,lest I be sprayed by a hose, I can only hope that the next poster of this thread learn from my disasterous mistake and never attempt such a fools gambit.Even now,the monsters bellow aloud in an attempt to summon their God against me,KOOL-AID KOOL-AID...
12th September 2007
10:21am: Behold this...
Puzzley funness for ALL!!!
19th August 2007
1:35am:
Who Are You In The Cthulhu Mythos?
You are NYARLATHOTEP, the mind, spirit, physical representation of and messenger to, the Outer Gods. Often manifesting in human form, Nyarlathotep is a great manipulator of humans, bending them to the will of his masters.In true form Nyarlathotep is a 55' tall monstrosity with a giant trunk-like proboscis. But he prefers the guise of a human, often appearing as a rich, well educated man, bending people to his will and towards their ultimate downfall.
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23rd December 2006
2:20pm:
| You Are 96% Evil | 
You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you! |
27th October 2006
3:49pm:
Invalid video URL.
4th October 2006
7:20am:
Show everyone you have no qualms about making your child, the loneliest boy on the block, when he charges into battle against other, cooler kids dressed as spiderman or batman, in his Christian Full Armor Play set!!! Have at you more socially and emotionally balanced kids!!! It's a soldier of God himself!!! Ready to face the hoards of Sinister, villainis marauders, who threaten the good, Christian Sanctity of your two to six block neighborhood. Watch your son's silvery armor, glisten in the sun, as the neighborhood lads stream of into the distance, ditching your child behind, to play different, funner games, that don't involve Bible scripture, and the constant reminder, that "God is fighting with you!!!". Tough and sturdy enough, to take the onetime abuse of a disapointed, heartbroken child, as he kicks his Christian Full Armor Play set pieces down the street to the nearest dumpster, never to indulge in the glory of Biblical combat again for fear of further ridicual. It'll be tears all the way home, and a sound beating at the busstop tommorow, when you buy... http://www.giftsofthecross.com/Full-Armor-Play-set.shtml Get yours today!
16th September 2006
7:18pm: Howdy
Well I aint posted in a century, so here goes. I'm going to be in an artshow next Sunday. A gallery down town has picked up some of my art i and they're selling prints of my work. I get to go over all the contract work at the show. The show will be at the Buzz cafe next sunday evening. I never planed to be involved with a gallery it just sort of happened, thanx to guidosaur. Happy Baby Bornage Day To Aliki.
7th April 2006
2:16pm: top 10 reasons I became a Reverend...
10 /collection plate ok to use for video games at the arcade. 9/ can and WILL perform Gay marriages on striaght couples. 8/ Can leaglly run around declaring "THE END IS NIEGH!!!" 7/ Sainthood in my faith means free pizza for ALL!!! 6/ I decide when the Devils right...He's right... 5/ I'm effectively border patrol for "heaven". 4/ administer blessings with full-on kick to the ball sack. 3/ With Holy Water, I can wash my hands of anything... ANYTHING !!! 2/ Baptizing babies means they have to bail me out of jail when they grow up. 1/ Wine corks count as Kool-aid points.
10th March 2006
10:40pm:
Dear america, I am bald, I have shaved my head. thank you
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